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Redemptive Divorce: A Biblical Process That Offers Guidance for the Suffering Partner, Healing for the Offending Spouse, and the Best Catalyst for Restoration
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Avg. Customer Rating:(based on 4 reviews) Sales Rank: 447275 Category: Book
Author:Mark W. Gaither Publisher:Thomas Nelson Studio:Thomas Nelson Manufacturer:Thomas Nelson Label:Thomas Nelson Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published) Media: Paperback Number Of Items: 1 Pages: 176 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3 Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.5
A graceful, biblical way to reclaim sanity for the home and dignity for the suffering spouse in a dysfunctional or dangerous marriage.
Thousands of conscientious believers wanting to honor the sacred vows they took before God suffer in dysfunctional, even dangerous marriages. Each and every day they must choose between the lesser of two evils: divorce without sound biblical support or a life of perpetual, unrelenting misery. Somewhere between the secular disregard for the commands of Christ and the sacred unwillingness to deal with real problems of people, there is a way.
The redemptive divorce process is designed to honor the sacredness of the union while offering practical relief for the suffering partner and tough love for the offending spouse. In some cases, it might even be the catalyst for the restoration and rebuilding of the marriage. Practical, provocative, and utterly unique, Redemptive Divorce includes a helpful guide with worksheets for implementation.
Customer Reviews:
Great, biblical advice November 3, 2008 This book was very helpful and clearly laid out a plan that someone could follow if they were interested in one last effort at restoration of a failing marriage. It offers a thoughtful explanation of how "the church" has failed--in many respects--when it comes to counseling and supporting Christians who are in a painful/destructive marriage. It is balanced and suggests that forgiveness and healing for BOTH parties should be the goal. It directly tackles some of the most vexxing questions one faces in trying to figure out "What would Jesus want me to do in this situation?" I loved it and bought more copies to share with friends, my counselor and pastor.
A different look at Christian marital difficulties October 27, 2008 I thought this book offered a different approach to the troubled Christian marriage. It was easy to read, and so sensitive to hurting people. I appreciated the Biblical support for the ideas in the book, and I can already think of people who could use this in their lives.
An Important Book Indeed October 12, 2008 8 out of 8 found this review helpful
My favorite bit from Boswell's LIFE OF JOHNSON is the conversation about critics. Years after Samuel Johnson's dictionary was published - and his lit-crit, his essays, and even a successful novel - he was asked about a critic who once commended his early writings. Johnson replied, 'Ah yes, he was kind enough to praise me, at a time when praise was of value to me.' Admittedly, such quotes have a chastening affect. But in writing as well as reading, praise has a vital function. Movements are begun, revolutions undertaken, history made - when important writing is taken seriously. This, it should be noted, is precisely the role of praise. Confronted with Johnson's probity (which is certain to be shared by Gaither), one is slow to affront an author's modesty. But this book should be taken seriously, so I will do what must be done.
The importance of REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE can be enumerated in the following.
(1): It is written from below. In an essay on WAR AND PEACE, Isaiah Berlin made the comment - and its truth has stayed palpably with me - that Tolstoy's novel about Napoleon's wars was potent, even overwhelming, because he wrote about everyday people. He called this 'writing from below.' He understood that sweeping accounts of historical significance mean nothing without the telling details: disappointments and hurts and joys - the vast landscape of human feeling, all woven into the tapestry of war. This is what Mark Gaither has done. Through the inclusion of real-life anecdotes, many letters from people in pain, a review of his personal experience, and analysis of various perspectives, Mr. Gaither has shown his understanding of the issues runs deeper than the merely academic. This is no dry, pedantic treatise. This book is a book about life, and it's written for the people who shoulder its burdens.
(2): It is written from above. Though the book is suffused with a crisp and limpid style, its ideas have been marinated in careful scholarship. And it doesn't neglect the big picture. Mr. Gaither refers to Thomas Kuhn's idea of 'paradigm shift.' Here he suggests that his book is a fresh new way of looking at things, comparing the issues of marriage and divorce to a wall so vast that it cannot be passed by going around its flank. Mr. Gaither writes, 'We need a new solution. We need a new dimension to our thinking - up. We must climb OVER the wall, something we never thought to do before' (emphasis mine). In other words, he does more than recycle all the trite platitudes about the do's and don'ts of marriage. The claim the author makes - that his book is a paradigm shift - is not very far from the truth. REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE is like dynamite, quiet and still unexploded, lying around the quarry of conventional ideas. (Detonation occurs when the book is thoughtfully read.) The writing is 'from above' in another important matter: scope. It's a vast nexus of considerations - personal, Biblical, ecclesiastical, legal; no stone is left unturned. This breadth of analysis lends to the writing a maturity of style and depth of insight which are remarkable, and rare, in a book of 153 pages. One gets a feeling about such books: they are destined to become the standards.
(3): It is written for the Body of Christ. The ideas in the book are clearly distilled from the vial of the author's experience, his dutiful study and learning, his deep concern for the Body. The convergence of these tributaries, and the scope and detail of treatment, make the book important for everyone - all who care for the Body. As Mr. Gaither writes in the introduction: 'That's when I realized that the audience for this book needed to include pastors, counselors, attorneys, family members, and friends of those struggling to survive dysfunctional marriages...I wrote REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE to help people drowning in the chaos of dysfunction...I wrote it for these people, but I also wrote it to those who want to help them.' This, I believe, is the author's cri de coeur. Each point on the web of concern, when vibrating with issues of marriage, should be nourished by the nectar of the Word. Such instruction should always be integrated. Mr. Gaither understands this point, and he tethers all the dangling tendrils. Each person on the spectrum of care - from parishioner to counselor to pastor to doctrinaire - is included in the successive folds of this book. That Gaither could span all the levels, and do it with quartz-like clarity, is a marvel of condensation. But this theme of integration - that all parties are instructed by a central crucial thesis - is the organizing principle of REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE. I don't mean to bore by repetition, but this book is important for everyone. In observation of the author's approach, to me it just seems self-evident: it springs from a love for the Body, whose eyes and ears and hands and feet all function to serve the Master (1 Cor. 12).
This breadth and balance of purpose is stark in relief against other books on similar subjects. REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE shreds the shawls and sheets of stifling and unhelpful convention, leaving behind a festoon of tattered finery. Yet its freshness and honesty are more than attractive gloss. Biblical analysis, nuanced consideration of thoughts from church fathers, and poignant lessons from personal experience - all form a network of ideas which buttress the book's appendices on practical and legal matters (which are very helpful indeed). Theologically, and practically, this is a meaty book.
Personally, I am hopeful for its success. But I remind myself of Marx, who complained that sales from CAPITAL wouldn't pay for the cigars he smoked while writing it. Only the venal pass judgement on books by referring to actuaries. But, after reading REDEMPTIVE DIVORCE, I am certain its place will be established. Here we come full circle, and return to the importance of books. This one indeed is important - important for the whole of the Body. There is little doubt, I think, that it will soon become the standard.
This is a wonderful book! October 6, 2008 6 out of 6 found this review helpful
Whether you are married,divorced, or single, this book is a wonderful one to read! For me this book has open up opportunities to talk with friends of mine who are recently going through a divorce. Thank you Mark for seeking God's Word, and following His direction by writing this book!
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